Bruises

I have been so humbled this summer. Humbled not only by learning of my self-absorption and my self-consciousness but humbled by the people around me.

I am humbled by the way I have seen Christ flowing through so many people’s lives. I don’t want to live the way I have. When people see my life, I don’t want them to see my accomplishments or even the way that I am “happy” or that I’ve done a lot of "cool" stuff, I want them to see Jesus. I want people to long for something that this world can’t satisfy.

All this time I have been trying to seek humility by focusing on things that I should or should not do. This is the opposite of what humility is because I am still focusing on myself. Humility is when my focus is centered on Christ and loving his people. It has nothing to do with me.

One person whom I have been blown away by is my friend from school, Serenity. You can visit her blog at http://authentiquesoul.com/. I can’t explain to you the experiences she’s had this summer, but if you get the chance, read it! She has now dropped everything… she’s dropped out of school, sold all she owns and is dedicating her life to full time missions and is currently attending a bootcamp for missions.

My friend Anna here at TWR. She always tell me, “Anything good of me is because of the Lord.” And Melissa who always reminds me of the perfect peace of the Lord.

I could go on and on. I’ve been stopped in my tracks as I have realized in my efforts of being humble, I have only made myself more self-centered. It is not about what I do for God but what I do with him- it is about working together with the Savior and giving up my control of what I think I should be doing for God. It's not about what I can do for God because it is still me focusing on what I can do on my own. It's about pouring into others with God because it is only with him that anything is possible. 

Obviously, mistakes are always going to be made. But Scott, another intern here, reminded me of something so important. The fact that I try, does not mean it was a failed attempt. When a baby takes it’s first step, it is more of a stumble. The baby falls on its face right away. Yet, the parents are taking pictures, recording a video and posting their baby’s first failed attempt at walking all over the web. It is a celebration, even though, in fact, the baby did not succeed at anything at all. But it is the first step toward something great. Soon, that first failed attempt will turn into walking.

When I take a step towards God, and stumble over myself and end up tripping myself and falling on my face, God doesn’t look at me and say, “Wow, what a wasted effort.” But the heavens rejoice! They rejoice at each effort taken and it’s going viral all over heaven. And God doesn’t leave me there on the ground. He is there, just as a Father would be, helping me while I get back up and learn how to walk.

We went hiking on a trail the other day and I realized the reason I fall down so much is because I'm constantly looking around me instead of where I'm going. I kinda have that problem in life too- and I can only thank God that he doesn't let me wander off but he keeps bringing me back into the right direction so I don't get lost in the woods. Hey, I'll most likely keep falling over the roots, but at least I know I'm headed in the right direction.

And you know, we’ve all got bruises from those times that we fell. I have a bruise on my left shin from Ecuador that I don’t know if it will ever go away. I mean, I got this bruise in September and instead of going away it just faded into my leg. I got a bruise just the other day when I literally fell into the car- while getting into it. Don’t ask me how that happens.

But each of these bruises, no matter if I got it on the high ropes course in Ecuador or falling into the car... each bruise holds its own story. It is through stories that we are able to connect with each other. There is not one person in this world that doesn’t have a story and no matter how different our stories are, that is something we have in common. And if we take the time to listen to one another and hear each other’s stories, our bruises really don’t look that ugly.

All this to say, as I am completing my last week here at TWR I can say I have not only learned a ton in the workplace, but I have learned a ton about myself. Learning to love as Jesus loved is a lifetime journey and I am so grateful that he has brought so many opportunities and people into my life.

These people and this organization have given me glimpses of Jesus. And these mere glimpses are more beautiful than anything I have ever seen.

Jesus, Thy Boundless Love to Me

Jesus, Thy boundless love to me, No thought can reach, no tongue declare;

O knit my thankful heart to Thee, And reign without a rival there!

Thine wholly, Thine alone, I am; Be Thou alone my constant flame.

O grant that nothing in my soul, 

May dwell but Thy pure love alone;

O may Thy love possess me whole, 

My joy, my treasure, and my crown!

All coldness from my heart remove; 

May every act and thought be love.

O Love, how gracious is Thy way! All fear before Thy presence flies;

Anguish, and sorrow melt away, where-e’er Thy healing beams arise.

O Jesus, nothing may I see, nothing desire or seek but Thee.

The Moral of the Story

I’m going to start out with a story. I think it describes the people I work with pretty well. The moral of this story is “Never test out a video recorder when you’re tired.”

It all started when Tyler gave me an assignment of researching the best free webcam recorder. I had all of my softwares picked out I just hadn’t tested them out yet. I went to bed the night before I was supposed to bring my top one to him and I popped out of bed, realizing I had never done it. So, in my sleepy state in which I think like a drunk person, I tested out the best webcam recorder and recorded a video in which I thought to myself, “Oh, I should test out the email transfer and send this video.” And I did.

All that to say, when I woke up in the morning I prayed that I had only dreamed sending that video. I walked into the office and I instantly found out that I had, in fact, sent the video when Tyler comes up questioning my motive in sending the video in which I had no answer. This took a downward spiral as he not only uploaded the video onto youtube, but also made a meme where at the end of the video (after I had done a bunch of stupid stuff) I said in a really weird voice, “This is so unprofessional…” This meme and video was then sent to all the interns (including the ones overseas who don’t really know me… I mean, usually I break them in before I unleash the crazy… haha).

But it made for a good laugh. As I said, moral of the story: Never test out a video recorder when you’re tired!

Anyway, I do work in a very professional setting and despite the setbacks, I have been able to learn a lot about professionalism in an 8-5 workplace. At the same time, I have been able to appreciate the very laid back atmosphere of the Marcom department that I work in. Everyone I work with has been great. It has been awesome to be able to work with so many different people in the department and be able to help out with all kinds of projects.

I was trying to remember when the last time I posted was and I’m pretty sure it was before the fourth of July, so I’ll fill you in on some of the highlights. Fourth of July weekend was nice and relaxing. We celebrated in a very American way and went shopping and saw a movie (“Now You See Me… actually pretty good!). I also bought the first season of Fresh Prince of Bel Air and so we watched about three disks that weekend as well (You can’t ever get enough of Fresh Prince, right?) And we were able to go to the pool with Benjamin and his wife. Just a very nice time to spend with each other and the four day weekend was definitely needed to refresh for the last few weeks of work!

This past week at work has been great. I have been able to move forward on a couple of my projects. An article I just finished should be posted on the website tomorrow so I will be sure to share that with you on my facebook page! Included on the article will also be video that I made myself out of some footage I had, so I was pretty proud of that.

I was also able to record for Project Hannah which was a lot of fun! My voice will now be on the air in a few months for millions of people to hear. No big deal, right? 

This weekend has been great. Did some thrift shopping, saw Despicable Me 2 (very funny movie) and went to the pool after being treated to IHop by a sweet lady from church and then went to a church picnic! 

It is absolutely insane how fast this summer has gone. Two of the other girls and I have been able to talk a lot about how our attitudes should be at this point. While we are sad about how fast the time has gone and how fast these last two weeks are going to be, we are determined to embrace each day and live in the present. The only way to truly appreciate the time that God has given us here is to be able to live in the here and now. When we focus too much on the future and all of our worries about what is going to happen next, we miss the point of why God has us here for this amount of time. We only have today, so we must live today.

I have a mini devotional with excerpts from “Jesus Calling” and there was one that stuck out to me that I would love to share. It says:

“Follow Me one step at a time. That is all I require of you. In fact, that is the only way to move through this space/time world. You see huge mountains looming, and you start wondering how you’re going to scale those heights. Meanwhile, because you’re not looking where you’re going, you stumble on the easy path where I am leading you now. As I help you get back on your feet, you tell Me how worried you are about the cliffs up ahead. But you don’t know what will happen today, much less tomorrow. Our path may take an abrupt turn, leading you away form those mountains. There may be an easier way up the mountains than is visible from this distance. If I do lead you up the cliffs, I will equip you thoroughly for that strenuous climb. I will even give My angels charge over you, to preserve you in all your ways.

Keep your mind on the present journey, enjoying My Presence. Walk by faith, not by sight, trusting Me to open up the way before you.”

[Psalm 18:28-30]

For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. This God- his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Grandma Time

Last Sunday morning was one of the most amazing church services I have ever been to. I have been going to a church called Peace Presbyterian and it has an African America partner church- Wesleyan First Church of Deliverance.  Well, Peace had went and did a service at their church a little while ago, so last Sunday they returned the favor. They came to Peace and did a service with us just as if they were doing it at their home church. It was a service full of praise! The worship was overwhelming- in a good way. There was no judgment. Everyone was clapping and raising their hands and just praising the Lord, each in their own way. I was absolutely filled with awe and joy for our Savior. We, different denominations, different races, just very different people in general, came together and we were united in something beautiful. We were all the same. There were no different denominations. There were no different races. We were all unified in one body simple praising the Lord. It was absolutely beautiful.

Last week was pretty great. I have been creating good work. I had my first interview as a journalist, sent out the TWR Americas newsletter, helped with some video editing and have just been keeping myself busy. Last Friday, the interns had a work day where we helped the maintenance men up on the roof. It was super hot and I was definitely exhausted by the end of the day. Even though it was a bit brutal, it was nice to get out in the sun and spend the day working with the interns and these awesome guys who do so much behind the scenes work.

I have also loved getting involved with the church. We have been able to meet so many awesome people. We have gotten involved with the college group and we have been able to hang out with some of the staff at TWR. Between the baseball game last Monday, college group on Wednesday, hanging out at Tyler (the videographer’s) house on Thursday and watching the Matrix for the first time, and having a great time at Benjamin’s (IT guy) house last Friday playing awesome games and then going to downtown Apex for a barbeque fest and seeing 42 at the $2 movie theater… Gosh. It’s been so great just learning to work hard, having fun and growing so much spiritually (Not to mention I've been able to hang out with my awesome grandparents).

There have been many things from the college group that I have really been able to chew on. Especially this past week, Trip, who we know from TWR, taught the lesson about being made in the image of God which is a topic I have heard about a lot but he just pointed out some things that I have never thought of before. I really love that about God. Even when you think you know it all, you’re not even close!

I can literally talk about anything with these people. I have had so many awesome conversations and God is opening my eyes to something new every day. After Bible study on Wednesday, Anna, Melissa and I just sat on the countertop in the kitchen and had a chat and it was awesome. These conversations just come so naturally. I love it.

I just need to give a little shout out to Anna, my roommate. She has such a sincere, genuine spirit. I could probably write a whole blog post just on the people here, so maybe I’ll save this for another day.

Over this past weekend I was able to go home with Rebekah which was super nice. She lives right on the beach. We got there Friday night just in time for some ice cream and bed. On Saturday morning we had the opportunity to go out on a boat. We hung out in the house and relaxed for a while as it was raining but soon after it cleared up and then we were able to go out on the beach. I was pretty happy about that because I didn’t think I was going to get any beach time here in Cary! Yesterday, I helped them move into a house with three flights of stairs. Let’s just say I’m sore today. Not even kidding. It’s pretty pathetic.

Today is a three day work week because of 4^th of July! I’m pretty excited. Don’t get me wrong, I love my work there, but hey, everybody gets excited about a four day weekend! I was able to finish another article that will be posted on the TWR website tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to post that for all who are interested to read sometime tomorrow. I’m also working on some video work, some other articles and other projects that I’ll probably talk about when I do a “wrap up” blog on all the work I’ve done.

All in all, I just can’t believe that a month has went by already. Thank you so much again to everyone who supported me. It’s because of you that I’m able to have these experiences, meet wonderful new people and really use the skills and talents God has given me for his glory. It’s been such a gift and a blessing to be here and I can’t wait to share this experience with you in person in just one short month!

Also, if you’re able to see the pictures posted by Melissa Norris, she’s a pretty awesome photographer.

Well, it's 10:30 now which is my new bedtime. I know, I'm totally on grandma time. I feel pretty old. But hey, if that's what gets me up in the morning, I'll save my late nights for the weekend. 

I will end with some excerpts from Isaiah 40. I’ve been going through this book for the first time while here and have learned so much. This passage has been going through my head the past few days.

… All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.

... Go on up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good news; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good news; lift it up, fear not; say to the cities of Judah, ‘Behold your God!’ Behold, the Lord God comes with might and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.

... Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall walk and not faint.”