you look like your soul

                                          Kaytra, me, Brett. About to head into the caves!

This past week has been pretty crazy. Beginning with a funeral and ending with a wedding. There have been many emotions being felt and it was hard to sort through it all. But if I can come to one conclusion, it’s that we look like our souls. 

On June 6, I received the news that my friend Brett who I had met on my trip to Israel in 2012 had passed away while serving the Lord on what was supposed to be a seven month mission trip to Asia in which they would be extreme backpacking- smuggling Bibles into closed countries. On the last day of their two week training, Brett was running a 10k when he collapsed and died from a heat stroke. 

Earlier that day he said he didn't want to die in his sleep in old age but he wanted to die fighting and serving the Lord. That's exactly what happened. The only thing that they found on his person that day was a verse. Philippians 3:12-14, "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus had made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Despite the hard training they were enduring, his teammates said Brett never took the smile off his face.

I woke up at 5am Monday morning so I could meet my good friend Heather from ORIGINS in Lawrence, Kansas and we were going to forge the trip to Indiana together. It was so nice to see her and very thankful I had her to ride with. We had a 10 hour drive so we were able to catch up and talk about how we were feeling about Brett. It was good to be able to talk with someone who actually knew him and was in the same place as me. 

                                   I threatened to throw that rock at his head if he sang "Only a Boy Named David" one more time

We made it to the visitation in Middlebury, Indiana around 7:15pm. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do was see Brett’s body. He just didn’t look like him. He wasn’t smiling. It really is amazing how you really don’t look like your body. You look like your soul. His soul was beautiful. He was always smiling; full of adventure, joy and laughter. But seeing his body without his soul just solidified it all for me. And what a joy to know his soul is in heaven. Smiling, laughing and praising Jesus. 

 

I am so thankful that God worked out this trip. Jennifer, her sister Kimberly, and Heather made it all possible for me and for that I am grateful. The funeral was on Tuesday morning at 9am and I started crying before the funeral even started. The service was beautiful. We sang “It is Well” which has been such an impactful song for me. All I could think about was singing that song with him on the Sea of Galilee and how that song always got to me during the choir tour in Ireland. 

It’s amazing how you bond with people over one month. I only spent one month with Brett in Israel and kept up with him over facebook these past two years. But there was a bond that we had that was different than any other friendships. There was just something about that ORIGINS group in 2012 that impacted my life in such a different way. 

As much as I knew about Brett, his funeral grew my appreciation for him even more. I just loved everything they said about Brett. It was really inspiring. He truly lived for Christ and was an example for all. They read some of his journal entries and I just loved when he said he didn’t want to get caught up in the mundane of the world. He didn’t just want to live for Friday. There’s so much more than that. Brett has inspired me to make my own goals. One of them the same as his. Stop living for Friday. 

 

If I died today would I be remembered as Brett was? During the sermon, it was said that old couples eventually start to look and talk like each other because they spend so much time with one another. Have I been conforming to the image of Christ? When people see me do they just see me… or can they see Jesus?

These are some of the questions that Brett has inspired me to wrestle with because this is how he lived. Brett was a role model and best friend. He truly looked like Jesus. I can only aspire to live the same way. I don’t want to live a mundane life. I want to live a life as Brett did. Constantly fighting to share the light of Christ in a dark world.

Ewige Freude- everlasting joy. Even among the sorrow we can have joy in the hope of Christ.

                                                                My 2012 ORIGINS group.

 I made it back from Indiana just in time to go to my good friend’s wedding. The wedding was absolutely adorable. Navy blue and coral and Allie looked like a princess from a movie. As soon as she walked in the door both her and her now husband, Ethan, started crying. The ceremony was beautiful. It was set up like a worship service. The reception was tons of fun, I got to see people from college… but what was truly beautiful was the way you could see their love for each other. 

 

You could see their souls. The love just poured out from them. Not only for each other, but for their Savior and for their family and friends.

In life, we have the opportunity to show love in many ways. Brett was serving in Asia before he died. Allie’s starting a new life with her husband.

In both of these situations I see life. I will never understand why Brett’s life had to be so short or why Allie and Ethan happened to fall in love after a blind date. These things will never be understood. But what I can see is the way that they have lived their lives. It’s all for love.

I am forever thankful for having these people in my life. I have learned much just by observing the way they live and how they treat others. The way they allow God to mold them into who he wants them to be.

As I start preparing to head to the mission field, my prayer is the same.

That I don’t look like my body, but I look like my soul. And when people see my soul, they see Jesus.