So, yeah, many things have happened since we last “spoke”.
As you probably saw from my other posts, I went through my week long intensive
Worldview class which was extremely beneficial (even though now I have a butt
load of work to do for it!) and had the opportunity to travel to the Galapagos,
which as you saw from pictures that were posted, was absolutely beautiful.
I couldn’t even
believe how much I was able to see God’s beauty shining through while I was
there. Absolutely incredible. I mean, I literally saw God everywhere. I think
one moment that really sticks out to me was touching the sea turtle and
swimming alongside of it. It was such a surreal moment, I felt like I was in a
dream. But I wasn’t! I was snorkeling in the Galapagos enjoying His creation!
And man, it just makes me think about how crazy Heaven is
going to be and New Creation. If this fallen world can still manage to capture
God’s beauty and creativity, how much more will it be in a perfect world? It
just takes my breath away. I reflect back on the past few weeks and just think
about how going to the Galapagos right after Worldview was perfect. It totally
solidified all the processing that was going on inside my head. I feel like I
am always saying the same thing, but I don’t feel like I can say it enough. I
am so blessed and God is so good.
Speaking of Worldview, I can’t possibly talk about
everything that we talked about in the class, but I can share something that I
was thinking about the other day. So, I was watching the Lion King (even though
I didn’t make it to Hakuna Matata before I fell asleep!) and I was at the part
where Mufasa is explaining to Simba everything the King rules. He explained
that the King rules “everything the light touches” and Simba replies,
“Everything the light touches… but what about that shadowy place?” And Mufasa
says, “That’s beyond our borders. You must never go there, Simba.”
And it struck me because it reminded me of Spencer’s
question in Worldview, “How much of the kingdom does the King not rule?”
Light touches all the places in which I let God rule my
life. But do I have shadowlands? Are there places in my life in which I say,
“Sorry God, that’s beyond Your borders.”
And then I realized, in the Lion King, the shadowlands is an
elephant graveyard which is a barren wasteland filled with the remains of
elephants who have gone there to die of old age. This is where the hyenas run
wild.
I realized that is exactly what certain parts of my life is
like if God’s not ruling it. Where God rules there is light. Where I push Him
away, there is darkness.
But anyway, after the Galapagos I went back to stay at my
home stay where we celebrated not Halloween, but the Day of the Dead! It’s a
pretty huge thing so that means three day weekend!
On Friday, Edwin’s family from the coast came over to stay
for the weekend. We woke up bright and early and took them to Otovala for a
bit. We had a nice Ecuadorian dinner and then drove around. We went to a
beautiful lake and went Go-Karting. It was super fun even though it totally
killed my bruised tailbone (Which is feeling much better now by the way!) After
that we found different places to shop. So great.
On Saturday, we went to Mindo for the day! Such a beautiful
place! We went boating and tubing and spent the day by the river. The river was
freezing! Edwin’s family is so crazy! (In a good way!) After Mindo I met up
with the group to go to Jose Luis’ church to hear him preach and Jenna sing.
Love them!
On Sunday, Matt Bastone, a guy that our group adopted, spent
the day with us because he moved in with Edwin and Ruby, the day that I moved
out. It was so much fun! We went to an amusement park and Matt and I had the
opportunity to take a cable car up Pichincha. It was amazing! Lots of crazy
pictures and crazy times. I’m a little sad to have moved out but it’s nice to
be back at the apartment. Great month!
But yes. As most of you know, this semester has been full of
firsts for me. Sadly, one of those was being the first time of being robbed. Of
course, it was the ONE time that I brought my credit card, my license, at least
sixty dollars of cash, my trolley change and even my chapstick because we were
going grocery shopping after class. I feel so dumb!
But God has really blessed me through this. I realized how
stingy I am with my money. I am extremely selfish with my money and I make
excuses not to give at church, I make excuses not to give an extra quarter to
the woman sitting on the street who I am always convicted to give to and I’m
always the last to volunteer to give money when my friends are in need.
Yet, I will splurge to go out to eat or buy a souvenir. Why
is that?
I am holding my money in way more importance than I should.
Money has become my idol. I feel helpless without it and I feel like everything
relies on how much I have even though I always feel like I have little. I don’t
trust God with my money. I am afraid to do anything that has to do with
ministry and serving others if it has to do with money. I lack trust and I also
lack responsibility.
But guess what. When I lost all my money, God provided! In
fact, I He provided me with MORE than what I lost. He provided through my
loving friends and family who have been so supportive and encouraging.
I am so blessed and I don’t deserve any of this. God is
challenging me through this experience to stop being so consumerism minded and
stingy and to TRUST. I need to stop desiring instant gratification and instead
look at the people around me and realize God is providing all I need.
Between everything that has been happening this past month,
I have really seen God through my family and my friends. On vacation with my
host family, just seeing the way they interact with each other and seeing the
way they treated Matt and I as one of their own children, I see God shining
through them in huge ways and it’s exciting to see and be a part of that.
Then after I got robbed, seeing everyone who gave me care
and support, I can just see each and every one of them reflecting Christ. I
mean, right after it happened I was really upset and they were all jumping at
the opportunity to do whatever they could to be there for me.
It is only by the grace of God that I have these wonderful
people in my life and in every small or big act of kindness, I see God.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about my future. We’ve been
talking a lot this semester about unreached peoples and I’ve just been thinking
like, I don’t have a certain geographical location that I feel I’ve been called
to. Does this mean I should go to an unreached people? Should I go to where
there is greatest need? Who knows. First I have to finish college, right?
This has also been a crazy weekend, with salsa dancing…
homework… and… well, my Spiritual Formation homework. I fasted for 24 hours
without talking, including communication via facebook. I’ve also been going
five days without caffeine. The reason I chose this for my fast is because I
tend to talk a lot. In chapel, we’ve been talking about how we as Christians
need to have purposeful speech as well as being good listeners. Even in prayer,
I spent the day listening instead of talking.
This fast was very challenging as I’m sure you can imagine
but it was extremely beneficial in my life. Throughout the day, if I needed to
say something I would have to mime it out. By doing this, I actually had to
think about if what I wanted to say was worth saying. So, every time I had
something to say I thought What is the
purpose for me saying this? And the sad thing is, half the things I wanted
to say today were either “I” statements or complaints. If I kept only the
purposeful statements or words based on positive thoughts or something
beneficial for others, I only have to talk about half what I usually do.
This really put into perspective the worth of my words. It
was also really nice to be able to just sit and listen. People who don’t
usually talk as much talked so much more when I wasn’t there to talk! It was so
nice! I never realized how self-focused I have been in my speech even by just
making others feel like there’s no need for them to speak.
It’s about considering others better then myself. I need to
allow others to speak and I need to think about how my words are affecting
others. This is how I am called to show love. Words are powerful.
In my prayer life this fast was beneficial as well. Instead
of praying very selfish prayers, I was able to listen to what HE had to say to
me. I read more of the Bible than usual and then just meditated on His Word.
I’m really glad I chose this as my fast. I learned things
that I probably never would have thought about. I’m really going to try and
choose my words more wisely and definitely listen more intently.
All this to say, I know earlier I said, “Man, now things can
go back to normal.” But the thing is, I don’t want it go back to normal! All of
these things that I have been learning, I can’t let them go to waste! I can’t
just say Wow, that’s awesome and then
go back to living the way I was before. I want these things to impact the way I
live. And so my prayer is today is that I will genuinely take these things to
heart because this is what love is about. This is what I have been called to
do. This is how I love Jesus and this is how I love others.
Wow, well, sorry for the novel, especially if you’re still
reading at this point. I think this post was more for myself. It’s nice to be
able to come back here and read and just remind myself of things that I have
been learning. I don’t want to forget these experiences and I don’t want to
forget all the things that God has been showing and challenging me in my life.
I want to keep growing every day, I want people to be able to see God’s light
in the darkness!
